Kingsley at 1 week old.

My precious Kingsley Talon! Born April 27th at 12:07 PM. Weighing 7lbs 15oz and 20.5 inches long (his frank breech legs wouldn’t quite straighten so probably longer!)

SO. MUCH. LOVE.

I’ll just jump right into his birth story and try to keep it organized and easy to read.

If you haven’t been reading my bumpdates, I should probably start off by saying I was planning a all natural home birth (complete with a birthing pool).

I went into labor the night of April 26th, 3 days past his due date. We were in bed watching a movie and I was having some irregular contractions so I didn’t think too much about it. But suddenly my water broke, like REALLY broke all over the place. It seemed like way more than what happens in the movies. This isn’t usually the way labor starts so I was really surprised/giddy. The fluid was clear, and then my contractions started being about 4-5 minutes apart.

I texted my Midwife immediately because she said we need to be more careful if the water broke early because I’m GBS positive. I had a solution that killed the bacteria that she advised to start using immediately just to be cautious. I think the amount of babies that actually get an infection from this is extremely rare, but better safe than sorry.

Contractions kept coming, and it seemed like more amniotic fluid came out each time but now it was mixed with meconium. This is the babies first poop, and sometimes happens in utero. The meconium isn’t harmful in and of itself, but can be if it is inhaled by the baby. I texted my midwife again saying this was happening, as it would be another thing to keep an eye on. She decided to come then to check on everything even though it was still pretty early on.

My midwife and her assistant arrived sometime after 1AM if memory serves. I think at this point my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. They came and checked the baby’s heart tones and everything was perfect with him. They tried to find his position, as it seemed like he had been moving and changing a lot in the past couple weeks. They at first thought he might be breech, but then decided that he was head down, although not engaged and “floating”. They decided to not check for dilation because the water broke and the GBS.

At this point Scarlet woke up and was all hyper with the commotion going on, she played with her barbie house a little bit before Arnie got her back to sleep. In fact everyone got a little bit of sleep, except me who stayed awake laboring through the early morning. Baby’s heart tones were checked every hour and all was fine!

The contractions were starting to get stronger and longer, and I knew I would want my doula to be there soon. Everytime I went to pee there was more meconium. My doula (who is absolutely amazing and I will never give birth without a doula and neither should you!) came around 6AM. The house began to wake up and my contractions started being about 2 minutes apart. They were intense yet very manageable with my doula applying counter pressure to my hips. Seriously got me through each and every contraction! We were in the kitchen chatting and labor seemed to be just a normal part of the day. We were marveling at how this was so “textbook” and I wasn’t getting that horrible back labor I had with Scarlet. Everything seemed about as perfect as it could be.

My midwife decided it was time to check me for dilation to get a feel for where we were at, this would be the only time she would check me though. I was at a 3.5 which wasn’t bad nor amazing I thought. But I felt like I had the stamina to keep laboring the whole day if need be. She then went to feel for baby’s position hoping he had gotten down lower. Scarlet was sitting next to me on the bed, she was very much curious and wanted to be involved. These next few moments I won’t forget, it seemed very quiet and serious as she felt about my belly.

I’m afraid your baby is breech, she said with a nod and a grim expression. My mind whirled a little. I think I said something along the lines of “oh no, really?” I wasn’t happy about him being breech but I also wasn’t entirely sure what that was going to mean for us. My midwife began again, since your water broke so early, your GBS positive, baby is frank breech, baby is also a good size and your not very big…there is just too many risk factors now. I let out a huge breath and a few tears, “Okay, what is the alternative?” I asked. Well we are going to have to take you in to the hospital (we had one about 20 minutes away and one about 35 minutes away) she replied. She then continued to tell me that 99% of doctors would do a automatic C-section.

Cesarean. C-section. Sliced and Diced. Hadn’t even been a worry in my mind until that moment. I think I was quick to accept this because I would be willing to do anything to keep my baby from being in harm’s way. Someone went and woke Arnie up. My last labor was a two day event so don’t blame the guy ;). He seemed very baffled and lost for words at the sudden but definite change of plans. He wrapped me in a hug and said he was so sorry over and over. Then he called his Mom to tell her Scarlet would need to be babysat, while we threw some stuff into bags. Probably the hardest part for me was telling Scarlet goodbye. We had such an idealistic birth planned with her getting to be with or near us the whole time, and that reality suddenly dissolved. Your going to go next door and play with GaGa, I explained to her with fake cheer. She kept saying ” I not can’t mom” with tears in her little eyes. She could sense something was wrong and became extremely clingy to me. I have the sweetest girl. Within a few minutes things were all arranged. Thank goodness our in laws are currently next door, and we knew without a doubt Scarlet was in good hands.

A caravan of three cars went to the hospital. Midwife in her car. Arnie, myself and the midwife’s assistant in our van, and our doula in her car. We chose the further away hospital because my midwife personally knew a phenomenal doctor there who would do the absolute best C-section for me. This particular doctor is very pro v-bac and does C-sections in a way to best facilitate that. This is important to us because we want more kids eventually!

We were driving there as quickly as we could, even though it wasn’t an imminent emergency we would rather get there sooner than later. It’s hard to explain to people why I needed the C-section yet it was never a rushing to get it done ASAP scenario. Thank goodness it never got scary in that way. The wonderful girl who was the midwife’s assistant acted as my stand in doula the whole car ride. She also prayed for us and answered all my questions about what to expect. Things started to feel a tiny bit less unknown. I think it was good we had some time to mentally prepare.

We got to the hospital and were admitted I was then put in a hospital gown, put into a bed, and given an IV and monitors around my belly. Keep in mind I’m still having contraction every two minutes. Baby is not in distress, and praise God he never was. The seemingly endless paper work began at about this time. My doula saved my life during each contraction which were now STRONG. The Doctor came in to confirm baby’s position frank breech and posterior. When they checked for dilation they felt his little butt. I was now 6cm and this is as far as I was able to dilate. They shortly after gave me some medication to slow the contractions and give me some pain relief. I was surprised I had gone from a 3.5 to a 6 in less than two hours. Which is a good sign for being able to deliver vaginally in any future births.

In total it was about 3.5 hours upon arriving at the hospital and going into surgery. I was thankful that we had a good team of people, with everyone working together and exchanging my information and birth wishes. I think maybe some women don’t realize you can still do skin to skin with a C-section and still have those initial bonding moments that natural births get. I was wheeled away into the room where surgery would take place, and Arnie was fully clad in his blue plastic outfit complete with hair cover. I had read so many birth stories and seen pictures of everyone happy and smiling before a C-section, but I feel like we were a bit more serious/anxious. I remember my teeth uncontrollably chattering and my voice felt hoarse and quiet.

The anesthesiologist did my spinal tap and it took forever it seemed. I was laid down and tested for any feeling or pain chest down. The feeling of numbness started and I could no longer move any part of my lower body. It honestly made me panic a little. I kept wanting to straighten my legs out but it felt as though they were buried under a thousand pounds of snow. I was slightly worried I would somehow still feel the pain once surgery started, but thankfully this did not happen. I felt a far off slight tugging in my abdomen and that’s it. I am so thankful for modern medicine, even if I hope to never be in that position again.

C-sections typically go pretty quickly from then on out. It was only moments later they told Arnie he could step forward from holding my hand, and take pictures of our son being born. These pictures are not the pretty ones you hire a professional to take, they are raw physically & emotionally. It’s still a little bit hard for me to look at them. I think it takes a long time to fully process birth and its unfolding, whether it be natural or c-section or something in between. He was pulled out carefully one bit at a time, and it seemed quiet for a little while until I heard his raspy cry fill the room. That cry meant everything was okay, they had to suction out his nose and mouth and clamp and tie the cord before he was given to me on my chest. This process happened as quick as it could, but I still felt too far away from my baby in those moments. It was so odd to have my first look of my baby be with my head turned to the side gazing across the room. “Mini Arnie” is what I initially thought looking at my beautiful boy. He was such a pink baby with red little lips and the most adorable nose.

He was crying until they put him on my chest, then he calmed and listened to Mama’s voice. Although it be horizontal across my chest and slightly awkward we got our skin to skin even if it was nothing like I had imagined. He was swaddled up and placed in Arnie’s arms while I was stitched up. The Doctor stitched me in three layers which is the best way for healing purposes, appearance, and potential VBAC. Now that the incision is healing I am utterly amazed that this hairline strip is where my baby came out of. They truly did an amazing job on me. I always thought C-section scars were supposed to be big and gnarly looking, but that won’t be the case and that helps a little with my vanity!

Arnie went with the nurse to weigh and measure the baby, afterwards I said goodbye to my Midwife, the assistant, and doula who waited until after the surgery to leave. Then we were transferred to the room we would be staying in. Sweet Kingsley wanted to nurse right away, he began rooting really soon after being born. He nursed and I marveled at his perfection. Despite being born in a way I would never expect or wish, he was healthy, vibrant, and so content in my arms. I realized what mattered was he was here & he was alive.

I think the reason I able to accept his birth is because it was the safest option if not the only option for us to both be okay. I have researched and questioned my Midwife and Doula since his birth, and have only come to realize how critical it was for us to be transferred. Some breech births are able to happen vaginally, and sometimes it all works out fine. Other risk factors have to be taken into account as well though. But it is never advised to perform a breech delivery without a emergency C-section available right then and there. Being at home would not offer that. Also, I was told being frank breech is one thing but also being posterior would make it extremely unlikely to have a seamless vaginal birth. The risks were too high and I wouldn’t have wanted a natural birth over a healthy, breathing, undamaged baby.

I am so very thankful God had us in the palm of his hand the entire time. Things happened exactly as they needed to. I fully believe this was the best outcome for baby and I. There was nothing we could have done to prevent this essentially, as in my follow up appointment I told my midwife how the surgical team had mentioned how Kingsley’s umbilical cord was short (so was Scarlet’s). The difference in my two babies was Scarlet’s placenta was posterior, while Kingsley’s was anterior. If that doesn’t make sense, imagine the placenta being in the front of my uterus and his cord that connects him being fairly short, this would make it so he wouldn’t be able to move into a head down position and comfortably engage in my pelvis. So I was the girl who did all the right stretches, exercises, and saw the chiropractor twice a week to encourage proper baby positioning… but the formation of my body, the baby, placenta, cord, all had it so nothing but a breech baby was the possible outcome. So crazy to me how everything played a role in that, but it’s also nice for my over analytic brain to have a reason why this happened.

I would like to note how rare breech babies are, making up about 3-4% of all births. I don’t want my birth story to in any way scare or discourage those who are pregnant/are wanting a home birth/natural birth etc. I still would fully recommended a midwife, home birth, and water birth in low risk normal pregnancies and labors. I love the whole concept and intimacy of a close, cozy, and intimate birth. Even though my home birth process with Scarlet was long and rough, her birth was absolutely beautiful and I would love to experience that again someday. But this birth has been extremely humbling to me, and changed how I view women who birth in a hospital and also those who have C-sections.

Wow, we are all so strong and want the best for our babies!

So here I am about 8 days postpartum,. with baby King King snuggled in my arms. Praise God!

Thank you all so much for reading & following along with my pregnancy, birth, and family.

Loves!

xo

-Caitlin